The Boss Wears Prada

I had enough. I resigned from work after dilly-dallying … twiddle-dee.

A day after, I was hired, thank God for connections, in well, another government agency. I am in a division called Civil Case Monitoring Group; my present job involves prosecuting civil cases, largely collection cases, in behalf of the government.

“Perfect timing” said one colleague, a former schoolmate, who later I learned was the chief of staff during my first day.

“We are flooded with cases. These unscrupulous persons are robbing our government with impunity. Go run after them. Here…”

He shoved me voluminous folders. I reached the documents, placed on my desk and flipped the pages.

“Draft a position paper due tomorrow… per order of the director”

He sounded like a sheriff imposing a writ. Quite stunned with the strong directive - I reckoned that the stack of folders obstructed his view of me - I gave him a dirty finger. In my mind, I was chanting. Asshole. Asshole. A.S.S.H.O.L.E.

“Motion to reconsider.” I said as I craned my neck to communicate with him.

“On what basis?”

“The order is arbitrary, whimsical, and capricious. Oppressive even. This voluminous record requires…er voluminous time.”

“Denied.”

“Hey, you can’t rule on my motion. Lack of jurisdiction. Permission to approach the bench.” I said referring to the director.

“Go ahead kiddo and you’ll be in contempt.”

I rose from my seat, about to proceed to the director’s office to raise my concern, when another colleague approached me and he whispered in a manner that he almost nibbled my right earlobe. He whispered something like:“Bro, off the record, ha. A word of advice: The druid occupying that office wears Prada everyday.”

He said as if I have been taping the conversation. Though I would have been discombobulated with the peculiar remark (Only much later that I realized the allusion to the movie The Devil Wears Prada. The director is a Meanie:Once, in a meeting, he verbally lashed his secretary until she came out of the room a pile of bones.) , I was more concerned with his inconsistent statement that I highlighted it in my mind with a Stabilo Boss. I mentally noted: He said a word of advice but he actually spouted eight words. Aha. I wanted to object for inconsistency of the statements.

“Don’t you have like, some orientations for new hires? Like welcome speech or Champagne toasts? Or giving them less pressure during the first day, the very least?”

“Actually, no. What we have here is baptism with fire.”

Had I not known more than half of the people here, I would have tendered my resignation right there and then and run to my previous employer to recall my resignation.